Sshh, don’t tell anyone, I seem to have lost something.
I’m kind of afraid to mention it but it’s really valuable and I do need it back. I’m worried I may not find it again and that really would be a problem. But it’s got to be out there, somewhere. Please, help me find it!
I’ve been re-tracing my steps, going over everything in my mind, to see if I can recall exactly where I left it. I’m not entirely sure when I last had it really. I’ve tried picturing it in my mind, but the problem is, I can’t even describe it to you. I’m not entirely sure I knew what it looked like before I lost it. It definitely wasn’t that big, and definitely not very old.
I hate to admit it, because all things cycling have been going quite well, but I’m worried I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and blown it already.
I seem to have lost my confidence.
The last time I was on my bike I definitely had it, but things didn’t quite go to plan – but then it wasn’t any ordinary ride. It was the Team Honk ride for Sport Relief and the route threw in a few unexpected challenges. Nothing horrendous, but it was more challenging than I ever thought it would be. I think that’s part of the problem. Plus, I don’t mind telling you, it’s taken me a week to recover and actually I still have the bruises as memorabilia of the trials and tribulations of travelling along the Grantham to Nottingham cycle path.
So I’ve been sat, assessing, reflecting and analysing – actually, I don’t think it’s my confidence that got lost that day. I think the thing that I lost was ‘the rush’.
What I love about cycling and riding my road bike is that buzz I get. That amazing, feel good, you-did-great-let’s go-do-it-again endorphin rush. And sadly, there was nothing like that with our leg of the Team Honk relay. Don’t get me wrong, I was proud of myself and everyone involved. I was incredibly proud of the amazing amount we raised for Sport Relief and yes, I definitely felt as though I personally had achieved something, but there genuinely was no ‘thing’ after the ride, no felling light and amazing, no endorphin rush! Just a very tired, achey, cold me.
In fact, for the two days after the ride, I don’t mind admitting that I felt more than a little low. I was tearful and kind of disappointed that it hadn’t gone better and that I hadn’t experienced the usual ‘feel good’ factor.
So I need your help. Tell me this has happened to you. And please tell me I’ll find ‘the rush’ again! If anyone stumbles across it, please pick it up, inflate it and send it my way.